The Quest for the Golden Cheese
by Zeldakid555
Summary: Can Link, Tatl, and Tingle find the Great Fairy's Golden Cheese? Read to find out! Please review.
1. Default Chapter

Quest for the Golden Cheese

Tingle: It all started when I was innocently "kalooh-kallaying" and this guy dressed in green walks up to me. I like green, don't get me wrong, but this guy was ALL green! 

Psychiatrist: (heavily accented) Tahll mee aybut itt. 

Tingle: Well....... (flashback) 

Tingle: Extra, Extra map of North Clock Town only 3 rupees! Get it while it's hot! 

Link: (strolls up casually) Why would anyone need a map of North Clock Town when they're standing in North Clock Town? 

Tingle: What if you got lost? 

Link: Then I'd ask you for directions. 

Tingle: (Holds up a sign reading "Directions 4 Rupees", grins) 

Link: Oh. 

Tingle: WOULD you like a map? 

Link: (scratches head) Errrrrrr........ No thanks! 

Tingle: Go away in that case. 

Link: WEEEEEEEEEELL EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 

Tingle: No, I won't excuse you. 

Link: You know, you have a defiant spirit, how would you like to give up selling maps and become a partner in my adventures? 

Tatl: Absolutely Not! 

Link: Hush! 

Tingle: (is being very quiet) 

Link: (taps foot) Do you have an answer or not!?! 

Tingle: (draws in dirt with foot, looks uncomfortable) 

Link: WILL YOU OR WON'T YOU! 

Tingle: (holds breath, lets it out in a WHOOSH, finally whispers) You said not to talk. 

Link: What? 

Tingle: (mumbles slightly louder) You said not to talk. 

Link: Huh? 

Tingle: (In almost normal voice) You said not to talk. 

Link: I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU! 

Tingle: (screams at top of lungs) YOU SAID NOT TO TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Link/Tatl: (Is blown backwarsds by force) 

Tatl: He's got strong lungs......... 

Link: 10 rupees a day! 

Tingle: Sold! 

Tatl: Oy! 

Link: Hold on to my arm! 

Tingle: (complies) 

Link: (plays song o' time, is transported) 

Man: Top of the morning to you. (is 4 feet tall, carrying a shamrock, and dressed all in green) 

Tatl: Tingle, I don't think we're in Termania anymore! 

Link: (plays song OF time) 

Tingle: Whoa! It's earlier today! 

Tatl: Johnny, tell him what he's won! 

Link: My name is LINK you idiot! 

Tatl: Oy!

Tingle: (taps foot, crosses arms) Well......... what I win?

Tatl: OYYYYYY!

Link: I like sOY sauce!

Tingle: I like to play with tOYs!

Link: I'm a bOY!

Tatl: Shut up!

Link/Tingle: (silently leap into the air)

Tatl: Close your mouth I mean!

Link/Tingle: (glue each others lips together)

Tatl: (unpeels them)

Link/Tingle: YYYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!

Commercial: (Kafei steps out dressed in a sweater vest at the beginning)

Kafei: (is wearing a very uncomfortable sweater vest, so he itches himself every few seconds. Speaks very slowly and robotically) I....am.....wearing....a.....sweater.....vest. It....is....very.....comfortable.

Anju: Oh Kafei, I love a man in a sweater vest! (rushes out, begins to hug the sweater vest)

Kafei: My.....sweater.....vest.....brings.....me.....babes.

*Back to the show*

Crew Member: (is giving Tingle a massage)

Tingle: A little lowe..... (notices everyone staring at him, shoos him away, looks at himself and realizes he's wearing just a towel, pulls up a privacy screen and changes)

Tatl: Oy!

Link: rOY!

Tatl: Let's just go ask the Great Fairy for a quest!

All: Walks there!

Kafei: Anju, get this dang, nerdy, uncomfortable vest off of MEEEEEEEE!

Anju: (Is snapping pictures of him and giggling)

Tingle: There sure are some wierd people in this world!

Tatl: (mumbling) Takes one to know one.

Link: Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho it's off to quest I go!

Great Fairy: Go find me some golden cheese! Shoo!

Tingle: Will this involve fighting?

Great Fairy: You'll probably die.

Tingle: Oh well!

(Link restarts time, and they start off for the ocean, tune in for the next episode of "The Quest for the Golden Cheese")   
  



	2. Part 2: The Ocean

Quest for the Golden Cheese at the Ocean

Link/Tatl: (Are examining Tingle)

Tatl: Nope, it just won't do.

Link: You're right, Tingle look at this. (begins to remove clothing)

Tingle: That's perverted!

Tatl: It's all right!

Link: (you can't see anything because he's covered in ammo belts of bombs, bomchu, hookshot, etc, and there is a giant Powder Keg strapped to his back)

Tingle: You are a strong little guy!

Link: (flexes muscles)

Tatl: Oy! Let's just get on with this, look, we're at the ocean!

Link: Okey, dokey let's go ask the Zora King if he has any Golden Cheese.

(They catch a ride on the submarine that goes to Zora Hall)

Zora Security: Hey there! (consults wanted poster) Yeah you! You're under arrest! You have the right....

**Several hours later**

Link: (is wailing the harmonica)

Tingle: I've got the blues!

Zora Security: Free to go!

Link: (checks watch) We have 3 hours till we need to warp back, let's go consult the Zora King!

Elvis Zora: (twists his hips into the room) You called!

Tingle: Yeah, we ha... (is interrupted)

Elvis: You ain't nothin' but a hound do... (is interrupted)

Tatl: Do you have any golden cheese?

Elvis: Oh Golden Cheese, you might say we have that, you might not....

Link: Ummmmmm...........could you explain?

Elvis: We have GOLDEN MILK which can be turned into GOLDEN CHEZ! If you take it to Romani Ranch, they'll have a cow drink it, then regurgitate it!

Link: (Elvis's accent is hard to understand, but Link's willing to try) Let's move!

*1.5 minutes till milk expires*

Link: Make Golden Cheese!

Cow: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*1 minute until milk expires*

Ingo: Howdy!

Link: (shoves milk into Ingo's mouth, it tastes so horrible that Ingo barfs) Bye Ingo, nice to see you in this world!

Tatl: Let's move fat boy!

Tingle: Hey!

Link: Here you go your Great Fairyness! (bows, presents Golden Chez)

Great Fairy: (picks it up, considers it, sniffs it, farts on it) Nope! (hurls it at Link)

Link: Yuk! Ingo vomit!

Link: (play song oy time)

English dude: Oy! Over here!

English dude 2: Oy!

English: Oy! Oy!

2: Oy!

Tingle: (raises hands in air when he sees sign reading platform 9 3/4, begins slowly backing away from red train)

English: Oy there!

2: Oy!

Link: (quickly plays song OF time)

Tatl: Man, there sure are a bunch of wierdos out there!

Everyone in South Clock Town: (raises hands in air, slowly backs away)

Kafei: Man, there sure are a bunch of wierdos in this world!

Link: All right Crew, get some rest, tonight we head out for the Mountains!   
  



End file.
